AND WE’RE OFF…RACE THROUGH THE COMEDY OF ERRORS…
Private Events….We all have our fair share of them. They usually are a breeze. You show up, pour cocktails for a few hours, breakdown and leave. Easy Peasy right…HAHAHA….Not so fast…
About a year ago I was asked to work a very prominent event for a good friend of mine. I was asked two days before the event if I would work next to a very well known Mixologist. Myself and another Badass Mixologist were to work with this person. We all live in NYC and the event required us to travel upstate. We talked to the people in charge of the event and decided that it would be easiest to rent a car. That way we would not be at the mercy of the ohhhh so great public transportation system. The event was on a Sunday. We were to meet in front of my place and go together to pick up the rental car. The event started at 5:30 p.m. We need to be there by at least 4 p.m to set up. Its at least a 3-4 hr drive upstate. We decided that 10:15am was a good time to meet. That way we had plenty of time to get to the event and set up. Here is the day’s time line. It turned into the comedy of errors…
9:00 a.m – P.R. calls me and tells me she is having some issues finding some of the ingredients for the cocktails we were to make. No prob, we decide we can hit the Chelsea Market before we drive upstate and get em.
10:30 a.m. – Out front of my apt. Meet one of the Mixologists. Receive a phone call the other Mixologist was running a tad late. Asked if we would go get the car and meet him back in front of my apt. Sure..No problem.
10:45 a.m – Arrive at the car rental location. Go in, tell the guy behind the counter we have a reservation. He checks and says that we in fact have NO reservation.
10:47 a.m. – Call P.R. She tells me that she spoke to him about 5 times earlier that morning. He says he had no idea what she or I were talking about. Tells me he spoke to no one (DICK)!
10:49 a.m. – FINE..I ask him if he has any cars and he says he has several. Tells me he needs my drivers license and asked for a CC.
10:51 a.m. – Tells me that on top of my license and CC , I need to show PROOF OF EMPLOYMENT... (WTF)..umm..I offer my business card and he tells me that it is not enough. That I need more PROOF. He says a paystub would do. (A PAYSTUB..AN F’IN PAYSTUB..Yea…Let me just pull that out of my ass cause I always walk around with one of those in my pocket…REALLY BIG DICK)!
PS..Good thing this jackass informed the P.R. lady that he supposedly did not talk to about this!!
10:55 a.m. – I call P.R. back. She offers to send an e-mail on an official letter head. He says NO and that only a pay stub would do.
11:00 a.m. – P.R. starts to scramble to find another car rental location. Call the other Mixologist. He freaks..Calm down..this will happen..just gotta go someplace else.
11:05 a.m. – P.R. calls us back. Made a reservation at another car location near the airport. We bolt over there.
11:15 a.m – Arrive at the other car rental location. They have our reservation (WHEW)! The Mixologist I was with puts his license and CC up. The woman tells us that there will be a credit check to rent the car.
11:17 a.m. - We are informed that neither of us have sufficient credit to rent the car..(WTF)..We were informed that even if we each had $10,000 in the bank, no pass on the credit check..no car rental!
11:20 a.m. – We call the P.R. She starts to slowly freak. Gets on the horn making calls. Call the other Mixologist..he starts to freak again! He says he will make some phone calls..see what he can do.
11:35 a.m – We arrive back at my house. Go to the bar. The Mixologist does a shot of Absenthe. I grab my second cup of coffee.
11:40 a.m. – Receive a call from the P.R.. No luck..SHIT SHIT SHIT! Maybe this is a sign. Who knew it was this hard to rent a car in NYC!!
11:45 a.m – P.R. is starting to think that maybe we should call it. Not so fast. We will make this happen.
12:00 p.m.- Receive a phone call. We are in luck. A friend of one of the Mixologists is going to rent the car for us. YEY!! WHEW! Its gonna take at lest an hour. No time to stop at the Chelsea Market. Just have to wing it.
12:10 p.m. – I start to think I need a shot of Absenthe.
12:45 p.m – Get picked up. We load our tools into the car. Where are we going? I have the email with the directions. Let me open it up.
12:46 p.m. – My phone will not open the attachment. Shit! Call P.R. No signal..Battery low on my phone!!
12:47 p.m. - Call P.R….no signal…dammit!!
12:48 p.m. – Call P.R…no signal..dammit!
12:49 p.m. – Call P.R….no signal..PHONE DIES .I should have taken that shot after all!
12:50 p.m – F’ it! Lets just get on the road. Kinda have an idea of where we are going. Figure it out as we go.
1:45 p.m – Need to make a rest stop. Too much coffee. No time. Keep going. Thank GOD I did not take that shot of Absenthe!
2:15 p.m – Really need to make a rest stop. Damn me for drinking all that coffee. Still too far out. Can’t trust traffic. I will be fine. I can wait.
3:30 p.m – Still about 45mins out. Can’t wait anymore. HAVE TO STOP. We all need it!!
3:39 p.m. - Back on the road. AHHHH..we all feel like a million bucks. Eat some shitty take out and continue on. Cutting it close here!! Need at least an hour of prep!
4:25 p.m. – Arrive NEAR the event. Call P.R. CAN’T..PHONE IS DEAD! Running out of time, driving in a big circle. Shit!
4:30 p.m. – Ask someone where the street we were looking for is. He points straight ahead.
4:35 p.m. – Ask another person where the street we were looking for is. They don’t know. Shit! Call P.R. with one of the other Mixologists phones..busy signal…P.R. is calling us…
4:40 p.m. – Think we have an idea of where we should be. Ask yet again another person. Receive a VM from P.R. asking where the Hell we were!
4:45 p.m. – FINALLY find where we were to be. Park the car, unload. P.R. is waiting for us. A look of relief on her face.
4:47 p.m. – Ask P.R. for the Chef’s jacket that we were to wear. She was unable to get one. Don’t panic. She has shirts for us.
5:30 p.m. – Event starts. We are ready. Hauled ass to get the prep work and set up done. P.R. is happy. People start to come over to us. We start to pour the cocktails.
5:30 – 9:45 p.m. – Work the event. Make some awesome cocktails..Everyone is happy!!
9:50 p.m. – I go to load the car. Grab the keys from the floor (the valet asked us to leave them there in case they needed to move the car). I go to unlock the trunk. No key!! Only a key chain!! WTF!! Really..I mean COME ONNN!!
9:51 p.m – Walk over to a cop and ask him if I could use his flashlight. We look through the car. Can’t find the key.
9:55 p.m. – Valet guy comes over. Tell him the key is missing. He says one of our guys was the last to be in the car. (I’m feeling very faint). Need a Shot…Actually need LOTS of SHOTS!
9:57 p.m – Walk over to one of the other Mixologists. Tell him the key is missing and I was on the verge of fainting. He asked to see the key chain. I show him and he tells me that the key is in fact there. We had a 2010 Dodge Charger. Apparently because I have not driven a car that was this new, the keys are not traditional. They are a special key. They all laugh at me! DOH! Who knew a key for certain cars does not look like a key at all.
2:00 a.m – Arrive home. Go to the bar…Finally get my shot!
Moral of the Story..Even when things don’t go as smooths as planned..Don’t give up and have faith
MUAH xxo
