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A.C & L.I.T’s…A TALE OF A “FIRST TIMER”

Your FIRST bartending job…We all have been there…. Your nerves are wrecked, your head swirls when someone orders a drink, and half the time you wander around the bar like a lost kid trying to take in all the liquors, beer, and mixed drinks. Overwhelming…YAH….just a bit!!

MY first bartending job was a at a small tavern near a College Town in PA over a decade ago.  The fact that I even got the job surprised me, but the boss seemed to get a kick out of the fact that this was my first go on the bar. What I did not know is that my “trainer” who we will call “Mrs. D” was very keen on training in the style we are all very familiar with…”Trial By Fire”! Pretty much you get tossed behind the bar, shown the basics, and told to work the bar.

Now… this works with SEASONED bartenders. However, when you have never done this before you feel like you are a goldfish thrown into a sea of sharks!

This bar crowd was fond of Long Island Ice Teas and Martini’s. I was informed by my boss that I had one week to master these two drinks or I would be unemployed! YIKES!!! Good thing I am a fast learner AND I had some help from three of my favorite regulars at that bar. I will call them “The Three Wise Men”. They drank EVERY L.I.T that I made..GOOD AND BAD. Have you ever had a BAD L.I.T?? They can taste HORRIBLE if they are made wrong! YUCK!!! They suffered though this partly because they liked me, and because they were friends with the owner. They led him to believe that I made an great drink when in fact it took me WEEKS to even get the balls up to taste my own “BREW” as they called it.

Well… as I was learning the proper “pours” for these drinks, my “Three Wise Men” would get completely hammered in the process tasting my “brews” hehehe.. Too much of this..not enough of that..YADA..YADA..YADA. Learning is fun kids…..weeeeEeeeee!!!!

One night in their drunken stupor my “Three Wise Men” come up with a “GRAND” idea. They decided they wanted to go to A.C. (Atlantic City) to gamble. They obviously could not drive SO they ask me! They offer me $200 to be their Designated Driver. All I had to do was drive them down to A.C., hang out, drive them back and they will give me $200 CASH…hmmmm…well that’s easy enough. DEAL!!

So I close the bar and I was given the keys to one of the “Three Wise Men’s” MINIVAN! Yikes…I’m used to small compact cars..not a boat like that! Mind you people it is like 2:30am when we leave for this little road trip. We arrive in A.C. around 4ish.

Upon entering the casino they give me $40 for the slots and they all disperse. One goes to the Black Jack Table, one goes to the Roulette Table, and one goes to the Poker Table. I hit the slots. I learned very quickly not only do I have NO LUCK, but…this little old lady kept following me! Every time I would leave a slot she would sit down right where I was sitting and WIN! Dammmnnnn!!! The old lady probably won a few hundred off my bad luck! Needless to say I decided right then and there that gambling was not my niche!!

At the end of the night, everyone down a few thousand (not me of course hehehe), we all end up waiting for one of the guys at the Poker Table when a disagreement breaks out between one of the “Three Wise Men” and the dealer. There was $8,000 on the table and only him and the dealer. Before we know it we are surrounded by SIX PIT BOSSES! WHOA NELLIE!! I felt like I was in a scene of Good Fellas! Really! I figured we were done! They were going to take the lot of us in the back room, beat us bloody and dump us in the ocean!

LUCKILY ….all they did was escort us out and tell us never to come back again!! WHEW!! On the drive back, the “Three Wise Men” worked on a 12 pack that they brought with them and made fun of me because most of the people at the casino thought that I was their “Paid Hooker”!! HAHAHA… I guess that is what you get when you are in your early 20′s hanging at a casino in the middle of the night with three middle aged men!!

Ahhhh….The life of a bartender!!

P.S. SEE YOU IN ASPEN

ROOM 202…I THINK…

Getting liquored up at the bar…..Its a habit that we see all the time. There is one thing when you go in and have a couple drinks…it’s another thing when you get sooooo hammered that you are unable to speak, keep your head up, or find your way home. Ahhhhh..the effects of alcohol…

Working at a hotel bar you usually to see certain regulars who are “travelers”. During the week it tends to be working professionals staying there for business. Most of the time these “professionals” are even keeled. However, every now and then you get one or two that upon having a bad day come into the bar and “drink” their worries away. Never a good idea, but they only have to find their way up to their hotel room so they “tie one onnnnnnnn”!! Then of course you go from Bartender to Babysitter!!!

There was a guy who we will call “Mr Crown”. He was a traveling regular at a hotel bar a friend of mine worked at. He was usually in there once or twice a month. Most of the time he would drink double Crown Royal..NEAT..and a Heineken back. He was a very nice man. Quiet, usually had a few with dinner and then departed. However, this one night he was in the bar with one of his work friends. They were pacing each other..shot for shot..beer for beer. This went on for about a good two hours. FINALLY, “Mr. Crown” decided he had reached his max capacity of drunkenss and decides he wants to head to his room up stairs. His friend gets up to help him when one of the managers for the hotel restaurant walk over and offer to take “Mr. Crown” to his room so his friend could stay at finish his drink. Upon picking “Mr. Crown” up out of the chair because he was unable to stand on his own, the manager asked what room he was in. He mumbles something and the manager THOUGHT he heard room 202. He walks out to the lobby and he realizes that “Mr. Crown” is too drunk for him to handle and passes this poor guy off to the bellman!! He tells the bellman which room “Mr. Crown” was in and departs. The bellman who was not the brightest tool in the shed takes “Mr. Crown” up to room 202, opens the door with his master key, and drops him on the bed.

NOW…before I go any further I must say that the FIRST THING the bellman should have done was CONFIRM the room number with the front desk!! DUH!!! Never Assume right!!

So..cut to a few hours later..hehehe…As “Mr. Crown” is in bed…naked ..sprawled out spread eagle, in his own little drunk world he is ripped out of his happy little dream place by the sound of screaming!! Upon opening his eyes, he sees two ladies standing over him with a look of horror on their faces!! His first instinct is that they are two hookers sent up to him by the manager! However, he soon realizes that the pink suitcase and ladies nice things around him were not his but he was IN THE WRONG ROOM!!!! Naked to boot!!!

Well…you can imagine the heads that rolled for that one hahahaha! Obviously the bellman was fired, the two ladies were generously accommodated by the hotel, the manager was warned and “Mr. Crown” while embarrassed, handled it very well. As he said ”Shit happens”!!!

MORAL of the Story…ALWAYS know your room number hehehe!!