FLAGGING..WHEELCHAIRS AND INSANITY
I wanna talk about flagging customers. Flagging is the polite way to let someone know that they are cut off from drinking anything else at the bar that could inebriate them. You can go about it in several different ways. There is the let me give you soda, coffee, or water so you can sober up and find your way home. There is the “here is your check please pay and be on your way” and then there is the way that it usually goes down which is, you take their drink from them, drop their check and tell them to not let the door hit them where the good lord split em!
Years and years ago…yes I am older in my bartending years, when I was lets call a “newbie” to the bartending world. I was managing a bar. For sake of the name we will call it “Touch of Ass” because that is basically what it was. I worked for a man who would gamble every last penny away. Yes...EVERY last penny. This guy would sit at the end of the bar after collecting the change from the cigarette machine (OMG..I know..those were the days) and proceed to play with the change at the end of the bar. He would say to me “ahhhh..love the sound of change rattling..makes me feel like I am in a casino”! (CRIKEY..really….sad..sad..sad) Anyhow…you can imagine what kind of place this was. Not necessary a hole in the wall..but close. Actually one of my regulars actually bragged about the fact that he had a liver transplant and his whole neighborhood chipped in to help him pay, all the while he was drinking Bud and shots of Yukon Jack. Nice right..ahhh..gotta love your regulars!!
So..one day I have a pretty decent crowd and the door opens..CREEEEEEK..CREEEK..CREEEK..CREEEK. We all look and don’t see anyone. “Weird” we say and go about our conversation. In the middle of talking I hear “Hi-Ya” from behind me. I look over and see no one and I hear “down here”. I look down and see this older man sitting in a wheel chair with no legs. I smile and say hi back and he proceeds to order a drink. Well I can tell you that I actually thought to myself “how much harm could he do..It’s not like he is driving“. HA!!! Boy did I eat my words!!
As the night goes on he gets drunker and drunker. He was drinking VO..straight. I don’t remember at what point he started to get out of hand, but I do know he was ramming people in the legs with his wheelchair and laughing. It gets to the point that I finally decide that I have to flag him. I politely tell him that he was cut off and that he should settle out and show himself to the door. He throws his head back, starts to laugh at me and begins to reach into his pocket. As I turn around to give him his check I am whacked in the face with a bunch of change!! He says to me..”Go F**K yourself and that change is your tip” ! Well folks..If there is ONE CARDNIAL SIN AT THE BAR…he just managed to achieve it and then some!! NEVER SASS YOUR BARTENDER OR CURSE THEM OUT!
Without hesitating, I tell him in not so many polite words what an ass he was and he had better do himself a favor and wheel his ass outta there! He says to me…”Oh yea…what are you gonna do if I don’t??(UMMM is this guy serious). I proceed to walk over to a “side” door. This is where we received our daily deliveries. I kick it open (mind you now there is at least a five foot drop to the pavement below) and I proceed to tell him..”There are TWO ways you can get outta here..I WHEEL YOU outta here..or U WHEEL YOU outta here”. He again starts to laugh at me mockingly. I say to him as I am pointing to the five foot drop out of the door “This is the way I’M taking you outta here” all the while walking toward him. He begins to wheel himself backwards towards the front door down the ramp with this look of horror on his face!! I know..WHO WOULD drop a legless man out of a service entrance with a five foot drop IN A WHEELCHAIR (HEEELLLOOOO..I would!! DUH) 
